Dating White Guy: No One Will Tell You These Six Facts

dating a white man
Dr. TaMara Griffin
Dr. TaMara Griffin

Dr. TaMara is a sexologist, sex therapist, educator and motivational speaker with more than 20 years of experience speaking, writing and teaching about sexuality. She travels the country helping individuals embrace and honor their sexuality.

Are you thinking of dating a white man, and you are of a different race and culture? Well, both of you should be patient, understand one another, and be open-minded. As you date men from different races, there will be some teachable episodes, so you should be ready to learn. We have highlighted six facts below which women married to a white man would like you to know as you decide to commit to such a relationship fully.

interracial couple

1. People may not agree you are together when you are together.

Most interracial couples experience this. You may be walking together with your interracial partner, and people – especially white ladies- may assume that you are together even if his arms are tightly wrapped around yours. The occurrence may both be hilarious and intimidating when you are on a date, and you have to keep on confirming if your man is there. Don’t be surprised to hear people commenting right at your face that you are the weirdest couple they have ever come across.

2. You’ll have a firsthand experience of white male advantages.

We all understand the white male rights, but it’s quite different when the recipient is your spouse, more so if he doesn’t realize it. You may enter a store, and while at the cashier counter, your boyfriend may be addressed before you even if you are completely visible. Your white boyfriend may be referred to as a tall, decent businessman and an educationalist even though you too may be an educationalist. He also has the advantage of receiving better loan rates than you.

According to Erin Tillman, a dating empowerment coach, it may be uneasy about sharing the experiences of being monitored around in stores suspiciously. But it may seem hard for people not familiar with people of color challenges to realize and recognize our daily challenges. To us, it’s a combination of emotions, uneasiness, and likely conflicts.

Steven T. Griggs is a relationship professional and a psychologist who can share with you good insights if you have an interracial relationship. According to him, he knows people from divergent cultures, races, and people who speak different languages, who have amazing long-lasting relationships. Moreover, he attests to knowing people of matching cultures, races, and similar intellect and education who occasionally fight. Reason? What unites or divides relationships are not the uniqueness or preferences but hidden forces of couples in the relationship.

According to women who are used to dating a white guy, differences may exist, but trust, love, and respect are important. To them, the many stares and funny comments don’t hurt at all. They insist that respect is key in a relationship, and they advise on living on a one day at a time basis.

3. By Dating White Men, some people may question your ‘Black Card.’

By Sen. Kamala Harris entering the presidential contest, many people have been whispering that (her husband is a white guy). The irony is that if it’s a black man dating against his race, the situation is seldom questioned, but when it’s a black woman, it raises red flags. There are some evident retaliations occasionally associated with the unacceptance of black women’s sovereignty.

4. He may not believe you the first time you try to explain a Black experience.

It may appear obvious that your white guy may never understand the challenges you are facing as a black woman. But the funny thing is their willingness to agree with the offending party (as a result of not getting the issue in concern). Or they may be the offenders, who let things pass that isn’t hurtful or racist but is, however, is.

Be sincere, and if he appears to ignore your worries, make him understand. The outcome will be evident when your stubborn white partner becomes more understanding and aware than before. And his main responsibility is to honor, defend, and assist you.

5. A mere fact that he is dating a black woman does not mean he’s not biased.

Pay attention to the actions of your date’s behavior and remember to have a DTR (Defining the relationship) talk. There are plenty of men around of different races who are not interested in serious engagements. They may not even be ready to take a lady home to meet their parents. Some women may feel like the research part in their interracial love is more advantageous to the dating evaluation than a serious romantic relationship. If you date a white man, he will swear to love black women and uniquely date them. However, one day you may come across his Facebook post discussing how much he hates black men. Though, if you reply something like, “what will happen of you if you get a black son?” Awkwardly, that remark may not even have a slight impact on him.

6. They will simply expect you to answer weird questions like: “Have you dated someone like me before?

In the early stages of interracial dating, singles may ask if you have dated a white man before. According to Thomas Edwards, a relationship coach for men, it can be a huge question and is married to a white woman. A huge portion of this question has everything to do with feeling at ease, Edwards suggested. Outlining that it is asking: “How comfortable are you feeling in my presence? Someone with features like mine, or has the same customs as mine?

Davis makes it known that a person asking this type of question is usually looking for confirmation and maybe meditating whether you will pull through? Can I be taking a risk with you? It’s a show because nothing is unquestionable.

Thomas Edwards affirms that his circumstances dating white women don’t determine his success. (him being a white married to a black). Amari Ice is a black gay arbitrator and relationships advisor in Washington State. She works with unattached single black men and points out that the person asking such questions may be trying to have a rough idea of how much input they’ll have to sacrifice to be with you.

What is it Like Dating a White Man: Couples Q&A

If you’re dating a person who has never dated with people from your culture, you’ll have to be ready to be disrespected or made angry most of the time. And if you personalize these feelings, your partner might retaliate against that. If your partner is ready to learn in a serious relationship, as Ice indicated, “I might be more willing to be part of this experience.

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