Dating a Black Man: Only the Best Advice

A happy multi

If you’ve made it this far, then you’re on the right path! Many white girls think that they can just go date a Black man on a whim, and while this is true if you want to build a long-lasting relationship, jumping in blind is probably not the best idea. This short article contains five tips on dating a Black man that will help you navigate the cultural & societal issues between you & the perfect interracial relationship.

Stereotypes are certainly wrong, so we’re in no way accusing you of being ignorant & unwilling to learn; in fact, simply reading this article shows that you’re open to learning & growth! Dating a Black man can definitely be rewarding, but it comes with a different set of rules than you’re probably used to. Fortunately, after reading this article, you’ll have a much better chance of finding a long-lasting relationship with your new lover! Whether you’re just trying to talk to that cutie at the club or using Black dating apps to find a partner, you’re probably impatient & tired of waiting… So let’s get started!

Determine Your Intentions


There are two reasons people pursue relationships: emotional & physical. Before you enter a relationship, you should determine which reason is your primary motivation. Of course, you can be physically attracted to someone for whom you also have romantic intentions: this is the perfect setup for a long-lasting relationship! On the other hand, if you only think of Black men as a sexy item to complete on your “To-Do List,” then you’re not ready for a relationship. If that sounds like you, that’s OK, but make it very clear that you only want to hook up from the get-go. Otherwise, you risk hurting his feelings.

Take Some Time to Learn the Culture

If you’ve considered your intentions & determined that you want a romantic, long-lasting relationship, then it’s time to educate yourself about the culture a bit. And no, we don’t mean start listening to more hip-hop music. We’re talking about learning the history of African-Americans, slavery, the civil rights movement, & modern-day struggles. It’s important to note that these are NOT points you should bring up on your own, but you should be familiar with them nonetheless. Learning is not only good for your brain; it will also help you understand your partner & their reactions better.

Accept Your Limitations

At the end of the day, you’re a white person living in white America. While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, it’s important to acknowledge that your individual life & experiences are far different from your Black partner’s experience. Unfortunately, this means that while you may certainly care & try to understand your partner’s struggles, there is a limit on how much you can truly empathize with them. Chances are, you & your partner will probably have different opinions on many common issues, but if they’re a racial issue, it’s unwise to bring them up. Choose your battles wisely because one wrong comment could end your relationship in an instant.

A happy multi

Learn to Deal With the Past

Many Black men will have children from previous relationships. As such, they will have “baby mommas,” women who will be in his life. If your relationship progresses, chances of encountering them rise, and they probably won’t like you much. It’s important to not take this personally but also to avoid engaging with them. If it’s a civil conversation where they are genuinely trying to get to know you, then that’s OK, but if it’s a hostile confrontation, just let it go. At the end of the day, your partner has had a child with this lady, and he’ll choose his kid over you if push comes to shove.

Be Prepared for Haters


It’s a sad truth, but there are still many racists in this world. While the days of people running around saying the “N” word are mostly gone, that doesn’t mean that the silent judgment has gone away. Often, the people you’ll deal with will be “closet racists” who will refuse to acknowledge their prejudice. It may be tempting to argue with them, but a much better approach is to simply cut them out of your life. If they can’t be happy for you, then you can certainly be happy without them!

Dating a Black man as a white woman might seem intimidating, but it shouldn’t be. At the end of the day, we’re all people. Love is a universal language, so think less and talk more.

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